We step away from Cambrai, today, and visit with one of its survivors, George Coppard, back in Blighty.
At lunchtime on 2 December, when I lay propped up in bed to deal with the welcome contents on my tray, I became aware of a change of sensation in my thigh. Throwing back the clothes I saw that the bandages were drenched in blood… I yelled out with fearful wind-up. A young nurse rushed across the ward, took one look at the bloody sight and dashed off. With amazing speed she returned with a young Indian doctor. He pressed hard on my groin and the bleeding stopped. The nurse lashed a rubber tourniquet above the wound, leaving me pillowless while the operating theatre was being made ready.
A frightening experience… one of many, here, made significantly less worrisome for the reader by its being told in the first person.
Our only other tidbit for today, a century back, is this letter from Wilfred Owen to his mother. It’s a letter full of ordinary conversation… which mentions, in passing, the beginning of an extraordinary poem.
I wrote in the middle of the week. Did you get a complete letter?
For I have discovered a page of writing to you among my papers. This afternoon I had a fire in my grate, which smokes horribly in the wind. Thus I finished an important poem this afternoon, in the right atmosphere…
The draft is currently entitled “Wild With All Regrets”–another Tennyson reference–and it carries a prospective dedication to Siegfried Sassoon. But the poem is not what we might expect. There is Owen’s sensuousness, and a version of his effusiveness, too, but this is nothing like a love poem. And yet there is that great access of empathy that makes even Owen’s most terrifying war poems seem something like a love poem… here, he takes on the voice of a terribly wounded soldier.
My arms have mutinied against me — brutes!
My fingers fidget like ten idle brats,
My back’s been stiff for hours, damned hours.
Death never gives his squad a Stand-at-ease.
I can’t read. There: it’s no use. Take your book.
A short life and a merry one, my buck!
We said we’d hate to grow dead old. But now,
Not to live old seems awful: not to renew
My boyhood with my boys, and teach ’em hitting,
Shooting and hunting, — all the arts of hurting!
— Well, that’s what I learnt. That, and making money.
Your fifty years in store seem none too many;
But I’ve five minutes. God! For just two years
To help myself to this good air of yours!
One Spring! Is one too hard to spare? Too long?
Spring air would find its own way to my lung,
And grow me legs as quick as lilac-shoots.
Yes, there’s the orderly. He’ll change the sheets
When I’m lugged out, oh, couldn’t I do that?
Here in this coffin of a bed, I’ve thought
I’d like to kneel and sweep his floors for ever, —
And ask no nights off when the bustle’s over,
For I’d enjoy the dirt; who’s prejudiced
Against a grimed hand when his own’s quite dust, —
Less live than specks that in the sun-shafts turn?
Dear dust, — in rooms, on roads, on faces’ tan!
I’d love to be a sweep’s boy, black as Town;
Yes, or a muckman. Must I be his load?
A flea would do. If one chap wasn’t bloody,
Or went stone-cold, I’d find another body.
Which I shan’t manage now. Unless it’s yours.
I shall stay in you, friend, for some few hours.
You’ll feel my heavy spirit chill your chest,
And climb your throat on sobs, until it’s chased
On sighs, and wiped from off your lips by wind.
I think on your rich breathing, brother, I’ll be weaned
To do without what blood remained me from my wound.
I wonder whether the soldier’s wish, in the middle of the poem, to bargain for new life by accepting the dirtiest of jobs, is an echo of Achilles’ thoughts in the Odyssey…
It is strange, isn’t it, to take a break from working on a piece like this to write an everyday letter-to-mum? But, then again, that is how we all live–only perhaps less intensely.
Here I have a certain amount of what might degenerate into worry, but it doesn’t with me. I think my chief trouble is watching that hundreds of windows are shaded at 4 p.m. And no unnecessary lights burning. I think I have hereditary aptitudes for this. I housekeep on a scale that would fairly stagger you and Mary, don’t you know…
I hope you’ll see Dunsden & the Vicar..
Ever your boy Wilfred
Am writing on my knee.